like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
