If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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