Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
