Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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