Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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