Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
