Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think my vagina is haunted
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
