Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
