I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
