My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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