And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
