idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
