I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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