if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
