Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
