Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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