I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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