dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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