oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
