Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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