Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
