Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
