Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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