Someone shit on the floor
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
