i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize