I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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