I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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