I think scott just propositioned me for sex
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
