Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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