This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
