rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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