Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
