This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Houston, we have a squirter
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
