Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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