i would punch a child for taco bell
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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