you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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