i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
