I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
