My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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