he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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