Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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