U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
