Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
