She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
