Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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