I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
