I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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