I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
