wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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