We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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